what can I say?

Well I spent the past 3 days mon-wed on a canoe trip a few hours north of here ill share a little bit about that, but I don't think that's where this post is headed. so we headed up monday bright and early (and actually up here in alaska it is quite bright even when it is early as the sun comes up around 3(im actually not sure how early it comes up but that sounds about right)) and spent 3 days paddling, portaging and camping. We were on a scouting trip for a new DTS (discipleship training school) that is going to be an adventure DTS, so all that hard work of paddling through 23 lakes(16 different lakes), and portaging 5 1/2 miles wasnt just for fun haha. we had a few just awe inspiring moments of peaceful calm, watching a moose swim across a lake, looking at the mountains in the distance on some of the lakes. i feel so blessed to know my Creator who created the beautiful landscapes but made us in His image, we are His best work, hard to believe but we are.


....

I keep on asking myself, what are you doing with your life? measuring and judging the core of my existence, keeping notes on tangible perspective. If you will dare to venture on a trail of analogy, Haiti was HOT: scorching, boiling, ferocious. For me leading a team in Haiti was like a fire, like a test, parts of that test I "failed"( o boy did I fail), parts of that test I passed, and God rejoices in both my passing and my failing because of His sovereignty He chooses to teach through the "failings". I keep on being frustrated with myself and the severe lack of vision, endurance, passion, communication skills, and most of all courage. as i want those things to overflow from my mouth and actions, i want my life to be like the shining stars in phillipians 2, i want to be constantly pouring out and being filled. Alaska is cold: freezing, cool, ice. As i came back from Haiti i really in my heart needed to process all that i could of my Haiti experience before i got to busy to, and ive been doing it, but theres more of a depth i dont know how to get out, mostly because i dont really comprehend alot of it. this life is a journey, I am at the 20 year mark. learning to be brave, wanting to be real, finding humility, holding onto hope. this summer wherever i go, whatever i end up doing, i want to grow from what God has shown me about who He is but also about who He has made me to be. right now we as a YWAM base are in a weird season, its supposed to be a refocus/ rest time with a good mix of local and almost local outreach, and a mini dts in august and thats kinda been the story, but i was really looking for a opportunity to go out and so being a counselor at a camp on kodiak island might be in my plans and if not helping coordinate hockey camp and adventure dts and a 2 week mission house remodeling project on spruce island would fill my time. keep praying for me, i hope to drop something encouraging off soon about specifics of what Gods doing in my life and to share wisdom.

we have a team of of 14 youth here for a couple days and we are facilitating some work projects and evangelism for them and hopefully tomorrow we are going to set up some prayer stations on the spit "free prayer" today we set up/ cleaned up / helped run a auction to help out 3 couples in homer whos houses have burned down recently, i bid 200 on a quilt but didnt get it haha.

well my battery is dying now too
chad