Friday, March 7, 2008

this is not my life

Ive been so busy this past 2 weeks with hockey and funerals and volunteering and worship team practice and lots of other things so i have slowly pieced this post together. the life and death of Renee has really inspired me to go out and get things done. I am so frustrated right now with my life and really think that i need a change in scenery, I am kinda planning on going tree planting this spring, then counseling at camp, then either missions, bible school, traveling, or university(hopefully the first 3 in combination) I really feel God telling me to get out of my comfort zone, right now i'm reading a book called gods smuggler its a book about smuggling bibles into the iron curtain back in the 50's and 60's its a really inspiring/ good read, it really feels like god is calling me out to be a missionary maybe its just with everything that has happened my heart is feeling guilt or something. its definitely something that i need to pray about and figure out. its hard to think about being a fulltime missionary when all we think about is living the american dream with a wife and 3 kids, a house in the suburbs and a dog. these are my frustrations in poem form, im no poet so dont be too hard on it haha.

this is not my life

Shrilling shriek of alarm clock the terror that starts my day
I slip on some clothes stumble up stairs no words to say
The sun wont wake for quite some time yet
Its not the early mornings that I regret

50 kilometers of daily commute
Green lights per red lights are so dilute
Hit the curb I'm not awake
More attention I must take

Age and language barriers are the bane
But they aren't what make me deranged
Time sits still seven to three
Punch out is my moment of glee

Christ says follow Me, i say follow me
I cover my eyes and ask to see
Fat and lazy I have become
Visions from afar have made me numb

Victory is in the Lord
Yet you don't see me out there with a sword
A dagger at best
Filled with hope still I don't find rest

I'm living a dream I cant quite remember
The fire in me is a fighting ember
Bitter cold disassembles my heart
Its left me feeling quite apart

Jesus, Jesus please be near
So the next step I should take I might hear
If you want take me to the ends of the earth
So new children of God you might birth

1 comment:

Chantel said...

Thanks for the comment Chad. I'm glad to see you've posted again too, I've been checking. I really like your poem actually. I used to write poetry all the time...I haven't for awhile now. I'll see you in church tomorrow? Goodnight.