I cant quite put a word to the mood I'm in right now but I would probably describe it as frustrated. Now that I have that out of the way...
It hasn't been a very fun transition from camp to "real life", part of it is the boredom that I have created for myself, other than that its mostly just the world bringing me down. Its hard to go from a very excellent environment where the people in charge are Christians and are trying to lead with the mind of Christ to be positive examples, to a world where everything is about money and worldly stuff. It has become very clear that I shouldn't be happy with the way things are within the world and even within our "christian" communities, it has become very evident that the world has corrupted Christians and that we need to do something right now to wake us up. And I will start with myself, coarse joking has been something that I and some of my Christian friends have done and have accepted as funny, but it clearly says in the bible that we should have no part of that and that we should be imitators of God, so I am trying to put a stop to this so people who are reading this can keep me accountable to this I guess.
This past week I guess I have been feeling a bit lonely, mostly because of going from camp to home where all my friends are working during the day, and I have a lot of time to myself, dont get me wrong sometimes I enjoy time by myself but this was kind of a extreme change.
I went camping this weekend which was alot of fun sometimes and sometimes it was depressing. Had lots of fun on/in the water other than puking out my lunch off a buoy on saturday (whole other story) and lots of fun playing tennis and just hanging out with people. but at the same time we got a final warning by the CO's that we would get kicked out if we got anymore complaints which really just depressed me mostly because it wasn't really warranted almost everything they complained about was true in a sense(other than the complaint of us swearing) but it was during the day that we were being kind of loud and we weren't being unreasonably loud and there weren't any campsites occupied anywhere near us, so it kinda made us talk about it more and more and made us have little to no fun for a little while there, but then we just didnt spend any time at our campsite so we couldn't really be kicked out without another warning which wouldn't have been warranted unless someone felt like being annoying. I'm so tired of talking about this, and now I kind of regret even typing this out because in the end I don't really care about it anymore and am tired of making it a big deal.
I wish God would just come down and give me a plan for my life, but that wouldn't take any faith(something I seem to be lacking right now). I am pretty sure I'm going to have a job within 24 hours, working construction, mostly indoor renovation, supposedly more demolition than actual construction, but I still have to figure that all out. it will be a good job for me I think, im kinda cautious about getting my hopes up about everything. still plan on doing something in the spring, still trying to figure out what.
i dont really know how to end this post
I guess just pray for me that I will feel encouraged and that I will be a light where ever I go, and that I will listen to what God has for me.