honestly honest

Well God has kind of told me that I have a little problem with honestly being honest all the time. I wouldnt say that honesty is really a low point for me, but maybe thats just me lying to myself. I really dont know where this post is going to head but I think honesty is a pretty big problem these days.

first of all the definition of Honest is:

1. Marked by or displaying integrity; upright: an honest lawyer.
2. Not deceptive or fraudulent; genuine: honest weight.
   

A couple days ago I was at work and I am training so I dont really know what I'm doing all the time but i was doing something I hadnt done before, It was a simple task, just taking a mixing blade off with a allen wrench and I accidentally loosened the nut a little too much and it fell into a small crevice in the mixer and after trying to get it out with the allen wrench and it not working I was a little freaked out, this was part of the mixer that didnt appear to come off easily, well I kinda pretended it didnt happen while I continued to work and when the person training me wasnt looking I would go back and try to fix it myself, but it was a lost cause, I had just hit it in further in and couldnt see it anymore. Decision time, if I wait any longer to tell him hes going to know that I was too scared to tell him at first, either tell him and have it seem like your a little retarded, or dont tell him and hope that its not very serious and it doesnt really matter that it happened. After thinking for a second I knew I had to tell him so I did, I said it kind looking like I was nervous of what he was going to reply with but he just told me not to worry about it. well it got fixed and I felt alot better.

But this story reminds me of how we can so easily try to hide our sin, try to pretend its not going to effect us, It doesnt work, God knows everything you do so there is no point in trying to hide it. But theres a point were we try to be completely honest with God yet we have masks on to try to hide our imperfections from other people, both Christians and Non Christians, I'm not sure who we are more fake to.

Its not really that we really bold face lie to each other its all these little omissions, and these topics we just try to avoid. I will admit that I try to seem righteous here on my blog sometimes when really It's just a mask that I have put on, maybe partially to lie to myself so I can justify myself.

here are the lyrics to a song that I listen to alot

"This Is It, This Is It"

focus on the horizon, men
should you grow seasick
but don't expect silhouettes
of rescuer ships coming

coming, they aren't coming for us

we've got prices on our heads
and millstones around our necks
we try to live forgiven but they won't let us forget
the bodies we're still in
the bodies that we still war against

son, this is it, this is it
you're gonna sink for your sins
unless grace be the wind
son, this is it, this is it
we're all sinking for our sins
unless grace be the wind

forget about being honest
forget about being passionate
wear that smile like you feel it
even when you don't
forget about being honest
forget about being passionate
i think they forgot about Jesus
seeking us out

in the bodies we're still in
the bodies we still war

son, this is it, this is it
you're gonna sink for your sins
unless grace be the wind
son, this is it, this is it
we're all sinking for our sins
unless grace be the wind
to fill our sails

--------------------------------------------------------

grace and peace
chad

I'm Alive, I'm Alive

I'm not exactly sure of the reason for my abandonment of my blog, it probably has something to do with the low level of intensity I've had (luckily had is a past tense) and being so busy during the holidays didnt help .
So I'll start off with a update of my life .... I have a job finally, working at Vita-Health not the health food store thats a whole different company but with vita- health the pill manufacturing company. My job is a coater, so I work with a machine that sprays the coating onto pills. I work 7am-3pm shifts so the hours are alright, my training takes 2 months then after I will probably be working nights at least for a while hours are 11pm to 7 am.

I have a new pair of glasses which I really love, and a new haircut but i guess i kinda talked about that on my last post.

well for now I am done
farewell
chad