ouzinkie

little video of some scenery/ the mission house/ ouzinkie

report to follow

old house

july 14th 2010

Here I am sitting in a 70 year old house in a small Alaskan village, sipping 35 year old tea, reading white fang while the sun dips just beyond reproach at 11pm. Another day is eloquently coming to a end another day, i just think of all the days that this house has seen. Earthquakes, funerals, weddings, raising up kids while raising up the village's children teaching them to read teaching them to learn, one rooms inscription reads joyce's office/ examination room, wonder what wounds have been stitched, if anybody has died in this house. A house is such a simple thing wood, nails, glass, and various other materials but what makes a house more than just a house, is it simply the age of this house that makes it seems so fascinating to me, or was it the 50 summers, autumns, winters and springs that were lovingly endured in the wild of it all. I ask myself who am I to tear down a 50 year old wall, what right do I have to demolish the past. I try my hardest to soak the house in, but its not really the house that speaks to my searching heart, its the life that was so dedicated to serving a community, so dedicated to Jesus to the nails in his hands and feet, to anointing Jesus's feet with tears and perfume, with a lifetime of service. If you asked me today if i ever wanted to leave this house, i would say “no, never”. I keep on seeing this trip as a perspective changer, maybe ill have afresh way of looking at things, if anything i think it might shift my heart to be completely committed to where I am The people here are different than ive ever experienced before, we arrive at the pier with no plan on loading our gear, our material to bring them to the house, we get a truck and a driver willing to drive for us right aways, guess he didnt have much other road ahead of him as the village only has 3 miles of road. We leave the light on, so if your in the neighbourhood wed love you to come for a visit. Ill have fresh tea on, 30 years old but fresh nonetheless.

just some thoughts

chad

bon voyage

well as I type the ferry i am on is getting cleaned getting fueled and getting ready for the 9 hour trip to kodiak. long story short these next 2 weeks I am going to be in a village names Ouzinkie doing renovations on a baptist mission house. I am excited to be on this trip as I really do love the villages of alaska, and i know that we will have the opportunity to show that love these next 2 weeks. this past week was a really hard one, but I come out of it with wisdom or at least i hope so. It feels like the boat of my life is still at harbour, getting ready. i pray that grace will be my wind, love will be my sails, trust will be my wheel house, joy will be my galley(the real heart of my boat), and hope will be my gangway.

well i tried posting this like 2 hours ago and we are still sitting here waiting for the boat to be finished loading, so it may relate to my frustrations of life too if my life was a boat, but ill get where im going even if i dont know where that is.

chad

joy comes in the morning (even when you ruin your oatmeal)

Well I will be honest, I've been very up and down, side to side lately, feeling like I'm being tossed around in a whirlwind of sorrow/ regret and yet a underlying laughter. Summer is slow in coming, my heart isnt as warm as i want it to be. circumstances seem to have kicked me to the floor, well im on my knees now. this past weekend was a long weekend for us due to 4th of July there were some really key parts to this weekend, I got ministered to in a way I hopefully wont forget anytime soon. though a lot of it didn't sink in until yesterday night, God spoke through others that I am like a wall in a good way where i am constantly moving forward as a ground breaker and actually protecting the inhabitants of my heart, and my heart is to serve and to bring joy. the joy of the Lord is my strength, and last but not least that the places where i feel like ive hurt people are going to become new.
earlier last night i didnt believe any of these good things about myself, i felt like the mistakes that ive made have made God angry and that He is rejecting me for my disobedience, that He had lifted His presence off of me and that peace that He offers was too far gone, that i was a wicked man being tossed in the waves of destruction, I turned to the Bible and really it didnt help me much the first reading, to which i asked God why was i feeling such condemnation, a aha moment told me this wasnt God that was making me feel such a weight such hopelessness and believe me this feeling has been building for a while. I simply said "God has accepted me, paid for me with a price, Jesus is my hope and i put my trust in Him" bam heaviness was already being lifted off and in came some valid hope, i felt conviction for a few things that i was feeling condemnation for but i read the same words in the bible and they brought a new understanding.

this morning i woke up at 6am and went down to the beach for about a hour watching the waves, felt joy and peace again, trying to go back to the simple place of abiding in Christ, and seeing circumstances in the eyes of hope and love and those eyes are Christs eyes.
chad