Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Friday, June 26, 2009

gone canoing

im going tonight til sunday with my friend "the epp"
ill leave you with a map to have fun imagining what my trip is.
never done this one before, and have only ever heard of a 2 people who i dont know doing it, we are taking two canoes in. leaving one there.

these are the trails less traveled.

Thursday, June 25, 2009

i really want to...

put alot of stuff on paper. I journaled only a few times on my outreach, mostly when i felt in despair and needed to vent to God. I want to write about my outreach, which im surprised i havent done like any of yet. I havent processed through what happened (dont think i can ever completly begin to comprehend everything), the things I saw, the pain, the joy, the people. im left with emotions that well up in me sometimes joy sometime hurt.

I am just realizing how the internet isnt really the place to put the raw stuff I was just about to type.


Monday, June 22, 2009


I am looking for a devotion book that i can either borrow or have, something that is adventurous yet profound and simple enough for younger teenagers. I am trying to pull together material for this summer of camp.

means- what we seek

Nothing seems to shine when things fall apart
The best lack conviction and the worst are full of passion
Until a moment of hope or a moment of defeat
When we are standing on our own, we're on our own

What do we want to happen now
When the center cannot hold and we are left out
So what will lead our steps
The very thing we seek
What we are striving for

We are the restless
We are set apart from the dead, only dying now
We are known by what we seek
When the center cannot hold
Is it the drug or the soberness?
The failure that we feel inside when nothing seems to shine

So what do we want to happen now
If we are on our own and we are left out
If we are left out
So what will lead our steps
The very thing we seek
What we are striving for

We are the restless
We are set apart from the dead, only dying now
And we are known by what we seek
When the center cannot hold

When the center cannot hold is there anything left
I think we need to simplify it

And if when we forget
We can't find our way
We are known by what we seek
When the center cannot hold

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

still working on the video

well i chose we win! by david crowder band for the music.. now im just trying to decide what to put in and taking the time to make it look good. it seems so needed, it feels much more human to have frozen moments, moving pictures and someone singing... more like a human experience thus i make a video. if only i had a pitch i could sell alot of stuff using these faces. id rather bring you all out there... you would all be awesome out there, as you are awesome here.

well i was working this week on a strawberry farm, weeding, hoeing fields. i enjoyed it imensly. it has given me alot of time to think, think about the new things that ive learnt that are really just old things but more in depth than what ive been taught. which sometimes seems like a whole different thing then what is being taught. authority in Christ, identity in Christ, spiritual warfare,the power of words, generational curses/ blessing, protocol. ive also learnt more about myself, and how i have a heart to sing, encourage, worship, serve, be a team player, etc.

ive spent alot of time this week inward, which has been good, but i want to reach out while i am here, i dont see myself back in ywam in homer this year. my heart has turned to camp and thats pretty much as far as i can see. so going back to homer this fall is not out of the question.

im kinda tired right now 10:30 came on me fast, i plan on waking up at 1am to call jeremiah before he leaves to go on outreach

-i would rather see hope all the time then always expecting the worst.
just like my blood type B positive


Friday, June 12, 2009


well along with my life decisions that I am kind of avoiding right now I am making a video from my outreach and I am trying to decide whether to use how great thou art in the yupik language or david crowder band- we win!

Thursday, June 11, 2009


this is the drama that we did on St. Lawrence Island(we modified it to fit a little better with the culture). we did it in the school in Savoonga(in front of grades 9-12), and we did it in the church in Gambell. both times we got to talk through what life without God is and what it leads to and then got to talk about the great hope that is in life with God, very powerful times with the light shining on their lives, with grace and love.

I played God during this drama and that was one of the most intense things ive ever done, God broke my heart for what breaks His. i looked at how at the end of the line there was death, suicide, something that people struggle with, not only on the island but anywhere. at that point in the drama I was a emotional wreck shedding tears, but then i step up he turns for me and we fight, bam we are saved by his grace and our turn towards him.


ps i had a quote as my decription that didnt really sit too well with me. it kind of seemed like we could earn grace, it was probably out of context, i really didnt look at it before, but it was a martin luther quote. so now i changed it to a quote out of the bible, out of romans 8:15 (the message)

Friday, June 5, 2009


well i sit here still torn in many directions, this week has been a good week I am here pretty much being availible to serve by cleaning, working and praying with the ywam staff that are here.

the thing about short yet intense friendships is that they seem to leave you torn, I am now the only student(well im not a student anymore) left on the base, I am glad that i get to do my missing everyone in sections though, though i think the bandaid rip would seem to feel better. i miss the people on the island, and my fellow ex students, and well in reality i miss the people back home still too, but soon im going to miss ALL the people i met in alaska.

i was going to write something poetic about how i know that Gods timing is for me to leave and how everythings going to be better and while it would be correct, my emotions might be getting the best of me right now and i am feeling very human right now